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Dangerous Compassions

schizophrenia dream

schizophrenia dream

I woke up in the morning from a schizophrenia dream and wrote this six word poem.

schizophrenia dream

fresh asparagus

closed tightly

Then I photographed some asparagus in our colander before I broke off the woody stems and cooked the tender shoots in my wok.  Wow, it was delicious.

Then I made the schizophrenia dream poetry meme.  Not sure who comprehends or likes my poetry memes.  But I love them.

schizophrenia

There’s a new radical mental health group in California.  It’s called North Valley, and I went to its first zoom meeting.  What a great group.  I love the chill vibe, the openness, and the warmth.

At the end there were announcements.  I was sad to hear about a new law that might go through in California saying any homeless person with a schizophrenia diagnosis or psychosis can be captured and given forced treatment.  Yikes!  Here is some info about it.  https://www.hrw.org/news/2022/04/12/hrw-opposition-care-court-california-ab-2830

I felt vulnerable to hear about it.  My differences can be used against me in many ways.  Hopefully I won’t be homeless in California or anywhere.

origins of schizophrenia

I googled schizophrenia.  Can’t remember why–I guess my thinking is too disorganized for me to recall.  I saw the easy answer on the left as disturbing, saying it requires lifelong treatment.  Yikes.

schizophrenia

I enjoyed the blurb to the right, saying schizophrenia impairs someone’s ability to behave clearly.  True, my behavior can be very unclear at times!  Luckily my writing is usually pretty clear, though.  Hahahaha.

A website I visited mentioned that many people with schizophrenia have some experiences in common from early life.  I felt surprised that the first one listed applies to me: viral infection while in the womb.

“Hey, honey!  Is herpes a virus?” I asked Ming.

“Yeah,” he said.

When my mom was pregnant with me, she had a cold sore over half of her body.  Sounds like quite a viral infection.  Poor mama.

schizophrenia

Schizophrenia is a lot of work.  If you’re dealing with that set of dangerous gifts, I hope you have a lot of support and love for yourself.  It’s hard to reject the standard narratives about what your life can be and who has worth.  But hopefully you’ve had love in your life and people who believe in you, to help you believe in yourself.

Schizophrenia is the emperor of “mental illnesses” in my opinion.  Depression and anxiety seem everyday responses to life.  But schizophrenia is a bit advanced, at least to many people.

I love my life and being who I am.  But your experiences may vary.

My life is not a joke–my diagnoses are rather serious.  Being uninformed about differences isn’t funny.  It’s important to respect all people.  Thank you for all the ways you learn and show up for love.

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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