Dangerous Compassions

bucket list

bucket list

Hello, I mentioned my bucket list in the Manzanar post.  Thought you might like to see.  Would you like to do any of these things with me?

bucket list

island trip
another high tea with Ming
return to Carrizozo, New Mexico
taste saguaro fruit
mushroom hunting
sleep in treehouse
somatic therapy
palm reading
nude beach
go raw 24 hrs
24 hrs silence
all bodies yoga retreat
touch the Atlantic
visit pyramid
see grunion run
visit swamp
Mt Shasta lavender labyrinth
visit castle
Red Sea
whirling dervishes
Gilroy Garlic fest
Sufjan Stevens concert
They Might Be Giants concert


I showed my bucket list to a friend.  He told me he believes in reincarnation, so probably he did these things in another life.  Yes, even if our souls wear many bodies as clothes, over the years, I would like to do these things this lifetime.  Some are time-specific, like Sufjan Stevens concert.

This friend is in another country, and English is not his first language, though he speaks it beautifully.  He asked what “go raw” means.  I explained it’s eating only uncooked food.  Some people find it so energizing.  I’m not sure it would work well for my current health situation, but it’s an idea just to try it.

My friend told me he used to be fruititarian.  I never knew that about him, so I was glad we were having the conversation.  He said it was hard to maintain.

He also asked what high tea is.  I explained the tea possibly served on the three-tiered tray, and the fancy feeling.  Most of the tea foods I could not eat now.  But the fanciness is fun.  I remember when Ming and I did that in Oakland years ago, as my mom was dying, and how much I cried.

I explained how grunion are a special kind of fish where I come from.  Felt good to share this list with a friend who’s far away, one more way to help him understand who I am and share my heart.


I’m not too keen on goals.  They make me nervous.  They feel like a ton of pressure, like a shadow or boss looming over me.

I’ve heard people say “If you don’t have goals, you’ll never accomplish anything.”  Those people lack imagination.  And they never looked at my life.

I do a lot without goals.  There’s organic movement, growth, doing what comes naturally.  Not everyone will sit on their ass drinking beer and watching movies all day, if left to their own devices.  Some people are creative, need to make things, and our bodies tell us to dance, create zines, do art, read, cook delicious meals, love one another, form community, or whatever.

A bucket list feels like goals, but something about the name or how death is involved makes it feel more playful.  So it doesn’t stress me out.

Recently I crossed off “go with Ming to Manzanar.”  In January I crossed off “visit Cambria Pines Lodge” which is a hotel resort my mom loved on the coast.  That was during our homeland trip.  I wanted to see this place she raved about.

You might try making a bucket list just to see what you come up with.  You might unearth some desires that were hiding and surprise yourself.

Who knows how long we have on earth, as our current selves.  I live so much in my inner life.  It’s good to do things in the shared, outside world too.

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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