There’s a singer I’ve loved for 20 years. Her name is Wah. She’s a brilliant lady who loves yoga and sings in Sanskrit but English too.
I was listening to this house blessing concert Wah gave in December–I was playing the youtube. Felt healing and good to dance to. I danced some minutes in the kitchen, and cleaned up a few things in the common space.
What beautiful yellows in her shirt. Wah is great at explaining truths to people who are unfamiliar with them. In this concert, she’s playing for people who are apparently not familiar with the chants.
I admire how she’s gifted at explaining things she’s known deeply for 50 years. It’s a special skill, to know enough to remember not knowing. She can put herself into beginner’s mind, any time. Genius lady.
I love the comfort of her trustworthy energy. A divine maa herself, with sacred Mother love.
She was talking about life stuff between songs, and she said something that knocked my socks off. It was so appealing that I immediately made a meme of it. “You have to hold coherence for people who can’t.” — Wah
It made me think of how many people are full of denial, anger, and griefs that are very difficult to handle. Coherence means the lasting joy of how things come together: sukha. I mention often how I want the happiness of truth and being real, not the false happy of denial and covering up problems.
I’d rather feel the mixed joy of a problem than the fake happiness of anesthetization.
dedicate the merit
Some people can’t handle their feelings. So if we can feel our feelings, we can do that for ourselves, but for everyone too. It makes me think how at the end of yoga class with my brilliant first teacher, we would dedicate the merit of our practice. It was great to see the context. We do this for ourselves, but for everyone.
Sounds conceited, maybe. But I think just about everything we do is like that. The ripples reverberate out. If I give and try to help, that has a result. If I punch somebody, that has a result.
Likewise, if I feed my body delicious food, dance, and try to keep living, that has a result. If I end my life, that has a result too, for everyone who loves me and beyond.
The yoga I did could create a small bit of wellness, for me and everyone. Felt important. Those years I did spiritual practices and spent a lot of time at the ashram near Sacramento, I thought I was doing nothing. But I was healing myself enough from the trauma of my youth to go out into the world and be among many kinds of people, and do difficult things.
walkman
There’s some Wah music I can’t find online, an early album, but I have an old cd. Ming told me he found a walkman that plays cds. Maybe it’s a discman! Hahahaha. So if he gives that to me, I can find the special Wah cd and hear that music again.
I’m not going to explain my whole past with Wah. In 2018, we went to the Bay Area for a concert she gave. I remember it very fondly. I remember it like it was yesterday. The charming space and the kids who gave us tea. Sitting outside beforehand with Ming, looking at the eucalyptus trees. Desires, elation, the joy of kirtan. It was probably the fourth Wah concert I’ve been to.
Love to all of us who are feeling our feelings, telling the truth, and trying to keep it together.
