Oh hey. The internet told me that Bob Saget died. I felt an emotional reaction that surprised me.
“An actor died,” I told Ming.
“Yeah,” he said.
“Do you know who this Bob Saget is?” I asked.
“No,” Ming said. “I was just reading about him.”
“He was on Full House,” I said. “Did you ever see that?”
“No,” Ming said.
“Can I tell you about it?” I asked.
“Yeah,” Ming said.
Full House was this sit com in the ’80s with a bunch of kids and they had dads and no mom. I can’t recall the circumstances of their having no mom. I only remember two of the kids. Everyone was white. The baby was played by these twins. They were the star of the show, these super-cute red haired twins. The Olsen twins, who later became famous-er, and I think one had an eating disorder, or both of them. They’re adults now.
So this show Full House was supposed to be a very strange situation. Wow–a family with no mom. But the tricky part was that it was a super normal situation, in a way. The people had nice clothes, enough food, no violence…
They weren’t worried about the things I was worried about as a child. The values and desires were normal. Being cute was important–comfort was too. No one was going to hit anyone or scream really. The kids were not struggling with their gender identity, sexuality, or being preyed upon. They never feared for their life, that I recall, or for the lives of their parents. People did not go to jail. These kids had ACE scores of 1 or 2. Their lives were almost nothing like mine.
how to be a person
This is one of the shows I studied to try to figure out how to be a person. You should have seen me, social scientist Laura-Marie. I didn’t have a clipboard or any research grants, at age ten. But I was watching how the characters interacted, trying to get a clue. Just about everything I felt, needed, and was seemed inappropriate. So I studied kids at school, movies, and shows such as this one to try to figure out how to be.
Now I know there was nothing wrong with me–I was just a different kind of person. Hearing voices, having super intense moods, and the autism make me different. And now I know different isn’t bad–it’s all that can save us. I’m not wrong or bad in any way. In fact, then and now I try really hard to be kind and share my unique gifts with the world.
That’s why I had an emotional reaction to Bob Saget dying. I don’t care about actors, normally. But he was the stable, fair, serious one dad of the show. He’s the one I wished to parent me. In my research, I learned that.
Also, reading the wikipedia article, I see he was born in 1956, which is the same year my mom was born. I’ve always loved that year, as the source of my mom. Also, 5 is red and 6 is pink, which is a charming combination.