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Dangerous Compassions

all cats are psychedelic

Oh hey.  Happy new year.  I’ve been working on this cat.  I decided all cats are psychedelic.  That’s just how they exist, by default.

all cats are psychedelic

Meow?  I call this All cats are psychedelic.  It’s art embroidery.  Funny how if it’s done with needle and thread, it’s just a craft.  It’s just a stupid lady thing.

artists

It reminds me of a powerful experience I had where I was at a restaurant with a group of people.  I’d brought my embroidery, and I was working as we waited for the food to arrive.  I embroider freehand, and it’s my joy.

Conversation was happening, and there was a feeling of camaraderie.  Someone in the group was an artist, and he introduced himself to another man who was an artist.  They were talking about their art.  Yes, serious important artists!  Who talk about doing art!

They were not interested in the person doing art in their midst: me.  A fat woman with an embroidery hoop.  Sometimes being incomprehensible is painful.

I’m not a man, so what I do isn’t seen as art.  I didn’t use spray paint, a canvas, a chainsaw, or a computer–I used needle and thread on fabric, so I’m just a girl.

It’s sad, but it’s also funny.  Many people talk about making art way more than they make it.  I prefer to make it.  But for a lot of people, talking about it is what matters.  Like marketing, not a skill of mine.

teaching evaluations

Also makes me think of when I was a teacher.  It’s important to help your students learn.  Stoke thought, guide them, encourage, inspire, care, be responsive, be organized and super clear, do what you say you will, show up, love, tell the truth, enjoy the experience, give it your all.

I did all that, as best I could.  But if you want good evaluations, it’s important to spell out how the students are learning.  Doing a good job teaching is important, but if you want to be evaluated well, you need to control how you’re being perceived.  Hyping yourself can help!  Fashion choices matter, and how funny your jokes are, way more than how much students learn.

Teaching evaluations are weird.  Yes, I can leave a scathing review online of my dentist, a meal, a movie.  But does every movie have a survey by the door, for all the viewers to fill out as they exit?  Kinda weird.  Education is weird.  “The customer is always right.”

oops

Oops, I can get bitter about that.  I’m sorry, reader.  If you sense an edge there, it’s because I wanted to be a teacher really bad.  It’s the only job I wanted to do, that I thought I could be good at, that actually pays.

And I was good at most of it.  Too bad I flipped out and couldn’t maintain my career.  Socially I lacked skills.  The two jerks per class destroyed me.  And I think grades are wrong.

Yes, I’m an anarchist for many reasons.  Anarchy is about freedom, authenticity, really helping people, prioritizing human needs over convention.  Prioritizing well-being and Life over money.  If the framework is impeding us, throw it away.

Rules were decided long ago by people who never met us.  Let’s do what actually works for us.  Let’s try something new.

all cats

All cats are psychedelic–all cats.  Their freaky eyes, their wild fur, purring.  The way they chase ghost mice–all cats.  The way they occasionally decide a hawk is hunting them through the roof and ceiling, stare heavenward with panic, then dart under the couch.

How loud they are, fighting or mating.  Grooming with their rough tongues.  The strong smell of cat pee.  Yuck–who thought of that.

How they torture their prey.  The juxtaposition of purring sweet fluffy softness, vs desire to disembowel prey with their back legs.  When they sit in a window and chirp at birds, desiring to kill them.  Soft gorgeous sweet killers.  I love you.

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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