Oh hey, I’m doing a detox, suffering from withdrawal from a part of my life I need to leave behind. I need two weeks and I will feel better. As for now, it’s time to feel like puking.
This art I already partly showed you is here above my desk where I can look at it all day, “my body is mine.” It’s helping me keep my goals in mind and reminding me what I need.
Also we had a dance party yesterday for the Las Vegas Radical Mental Health Collective. It was good to move my energy around, get sun and exercise, and do the dance ministry. Socializing with kind people was sweet too.
Being happy is the best example. More than 50 people passed by as we danced, park goers mostly walking. They saw me busting moves and might have learned something from that. I’m a happy fat woman, even when I’m doing a detox and suffering. It’s in service of something greater.
The dance party was four people in person and two over zoom. Next one I want to plan further in advance. This is the mix we used.
I want to spend some time in nature and do a ritual. Other ways I’m spending this sacred time of detox: lower my expectations of myself, eat more protein, journal every day if I want to, sing, stim more, get some form of therapy or counseling weekly.
And then the usual wellness practices like exercise and sunshine daily, art making, blogging. I’m preparing some mail to send, which feels good, writing letters to stable people who are consistently kind to me.
Here’s me dancing by myself, before the other couple arrived.
I felt awkward at the beginning, as we struggled with tech. Then I danced enough that some instinct kicked in and I lost my language-self. It wasn’t exactly ecstatic dance, because I had to keep my wits about me to be social. But dancing was extremely helpful for healing.
I hope you have something that heals you like that, reader. I hope your needs are met and you’re moving toward a future you crave.