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Dangerous Compassions Functionally ill

my body is mine

Hey, I made this art I wanted to show you: my body is mine.  This is just the sentencey part.  It’s about choosing to expend energy on relationships in a way that’s in keeping with my values.

my body is mine

dark green words on pink:
My body is mine. My heart, mind, and life are mine. I need friends who are good for me in a balanced way. I can only be close to people who communicate. I deserve to be loved. My mom formed my body in her body only for love. My mom told me to protect my sacred being. I deserve respect always, no exceptions. My needs matter. I trust my needs.

It’s about good choices I’m making, being stronger in who I am.  But I also wanted to show it to a friend of mine who is having a hard time in a relationship where he’s being hurt.  I heard from his sister that he was missing, and I was afraid he’d passed away.

But I sent him a longshot two sentence email, and I was shocked when he replied.  Still wondering what town he’s in now, and praying for him every day, that he can get into a safer situation.

Felt good to email the art pic to him yesterday, though I don’t know if his crappy half-broken phone can see pics from emails.  I gotta try.

new zine

Another way I try is making zines.  I made a new zine, lost child 7.

lost child 7

It’s an alphabet zine of vignettes: chosen names, finding raisin bran, the sad books my ex-husband read, a speculum breaking inside my body, meeting a man in a garden who reminded me of you.  It has cute drawings and is for people age 18 and up.  Happy to trade!

yummy

Yesterday we went to copy this zine at our beloved Korean print shop L&K.  Kamsaham-nida!

We passed by an Indian food restaurant we hadn’t given much of a try.  So I thought maybe we could pick up lunch there, India Palace.  Spoiler alert: so yummy.  Veg pakoras and paneer makhani.  My mild was a zero, but that’s better than too hot.  Ming got shrimp saag at medium.

They have a very beautiful alley.  We walked around the alley and took pics as we waited for our food.

beautiful alley

I got a thrill like I was in the Bay Area.  The smell of burnt spices plus some strong scented cleaning product, soapy in the puddle.  It had just rained, so there was more humidity in the air than usual Las Vegas.  Deep joy filled my body.  I love California so much.  On instagram I said it smelled like the Tenderloin with less pee.

Wow, I just searched my own blog for Tenderloin and saw a post about my first ever Icarus meeting, more than ten years ago.  I was on the forums before that.  I met someone at that meeting who I fell in love with, and she changed my life in a big way.  So grateful for this day. https://www.listeningtothenoiseuntilitmakessense.com/2011/02/08/city/

my body is mine

“Take my picture by this beautiful dumpster,” I asked Ming.  My body is mine.  My mom formed it inside her body just for love, not to be used or hurt.

my body is mine

Even the pigeons seemed happy–maybe I was projecting.  The butterscotch colors felt so comforting.  We had a good time; my mood improved.

Look at this gorgeous sweetie pie.  In his purple tiedye shirt, wearing his trilobite necklace.  My heart could not help but smile.

lover

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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