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Dangerous Compassions

grateful

grateful to be well

I’m grateful we’re well.  The houseguest coming here on a plane, we tried to be smart about germs, but that was hard to do, traveling in a car together and eating together day after day.

Visiting the Shut Down Creech protest last week, we hugged a few people, and sharing close air space may be not good.  It was soul-nourishing to touch people, but it’s hard to weigh the risks.  Some of the Creechers are antivaxers, so the risk might have been greater.

I spend almost all my time just with Ming or alone.  It’s unusual for me to be around other people, so I’m grateful we hopefully dodged germs.  I think we did great.

grateful not to be stuck

I’m grateful to embroider and have a variety of things I do, not just write and feel anxious.  Happy to cook delicious foods, do crafty stuff, walk, dance, rest, make art, and spend time in the sun, close to nature.

Yesterday I sat in the sun in the driveway and worked on a patch I’m embroidering for a friend, purple on black.  Sometimes I do get stuck in a certain feeling or activity, but not for long.  I’m glad to stay in motion.

grateful for nurturing pleasures

I’m grateful for life’s pleasures, like pumpkin smoothies, cuddles with Ming, and this cool little pottery I got with a flower growing out the top: kalanchoe.

grateful

The soil of the flower was totally dry, when I bought it.  Feels good to water it and give it a chance at more life.  I do that for myself also.

One of my favorite times of the day is when I go to bed, and I’m lying there on my side in the half-dark, holding myself and saying kind things to myself in my head.  “I’m proud of you for the good work you did today.  You are safe and loved.  I’m so glad you made good choices today.”  You could call it re-parenting, affirmations, being my own best friend, or whatever.  Being kind to me is a fantastic activity.

grateful for self-awareness

I’m grateful I have self-awareness.  Not everybody does.  I’m able to see what I’m doing, examine my values and other motivations, and work to keep my behavior and values aligned.  It’s responsible, which feels cozy.  Being responsible is a way I feel safe and honor my needs.  Usually I’m clueless about what happens inside other people, but at least I know what happens in me.  It’s grounding.

grateful for dailies

I’m grateful for the things I do daily to help me stay stable, to be the person I want to be.  Moderating is hard–I think it’s an autism thing.  Yes, I want to do something super regularly, or not at all.  Blogging is part of what helps me stay well, so thank you for showing up, kind reader friends.

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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