Dangerous Compassions


“Is that a collector’s item?” Ming asked about the Econoline in my hands.

“Well, I just collected it,” I said.  “So I guess so.”

collector's item

We were walking in the desert.  We needed some fun really bad.  So we went out early in the morning–Ming drove us to Red Rock.  We walked a little longer than usual.

“It’s not every day, I find a word,” I said.

I stuck Econoline in my back pocket and forgot about it until later, as we were driving home.  Ming asked where it was.  Econoline had broken in half when I sat down in the car.  Oops.  Econ was now separate from oline.


“We’re both wearing green shirts today!” I said.

“It’s St Patrick’s Day,” he said.  “We’re getting ready early.”

I thought what season we’re in, what month.  Then when is St Patrick’s Day.  “Hmm, yeah!  A bit early,” I said.

sinus pain

“I’m having a little sinus pain,” Ming said.

“Oh no,” I said.  “Is it a sinus infection?”

“No,” he said.  “Just a little pain.”

“Maybe you should boil some water, and then put a towel over your head, and ask the steam to go up your nose,” I said.

“And put some tea bags around my neck, to go in the water, to make tea?” he asked.

“Uh…no,” I said.  “You could put a few drops of tea tree oil or something in the water.”

“Tea tree oil would make the tea not taste good,” he said.

“No!  It’s not for drinking!  It’s for the steam to go in your nose and make it all wet.  Then if any stuff was stuck in your sinuses, it could flow out and not get infected.”

“I really wouldn’t want to drink that,” he said.

“Honey, it’s not to drink!  It’s like a neti pot, but with steam and without pouring the water and without the neti pot.”

“Ok,” he said.

“You could make tea first.  Then the whole time you were breathing the steam, you could be thinking about your tea.  Your delicious tea you could drink.”

“I think I overstated my pain.  It’s just a little point of pain,” he said.

“Well, if you cared for it, then it wouldn’t get worse.”

red springs

Then I asked if we could stop by Red Springs.  I had a hope there would be few people.  We could sit quietly, and I could get a little more sun.

“It could be nice.  Or there could be a ton of people getting married, and all those energetic getting married people could be around,” I said.  “Yuck.”

“Lots of people getting married?” Ming asked.  “Like a…”

“Like a cult mass wedding,” I said.  We laughed.  We love community and intentional community–we think a lot about cults, dodging cults.

to kiss

Also there could be a mass pretend wedding like a marriage equality protest.  I heard about that.  Hundreds of queers kissing one another in a certain place at the university where I did my undergrad.  It was a cool opportunity to kiss somebody.

I imagine a proposal–a queer on bended knee.  “Will you pretend-marry me?”  There are feelings beneath the feelings.  I have a faint memory–I think my long ago girlfriend pretend-married someone else, and I didn’t like it.  It was supposed not to mean anything.  But why do something that doesn’t mean anything.

Love to your needs.  Love to the desert and all who dwell here!

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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