I made this meme about how to be a great listener.
What do you think? That’s pretty much my method.
The pitfall to my listening style is I leave my judgment at the door and sometimes forget to pick it up on my way out.
Oops–I over-believed again. I like to suspend disbelief, but sometimes I forget to reinstate it. Sometimes I can get hurt really bad, when I see the good and focus on goodness too hard.
Sorry, Laura-Marie, Ming, and everyone else who got hurt when I was charmed by people who were deeply creepy but had some shimmering light. I would latch onto the beauty and not let go.
It can be charming about me, but at a certain point, it’s a big huge error. Thanks for your patience, everybody!
what we hear
How are you a great listener? When you listen, what do you hear? I usually hear a ton of needs. A deep lack of being paid attention to. I often hear layers and layers of pain.
Sometimes a person has been so unlistened to for so long, it takes unwrapping, for them to even reach their truth. Lots of false starts and near-truths, until they get to what they’re needing to say.
A great listener can be a truth dula. Witnessing someone find their truth can be amazing. Like watching a baby being birthed. Quite a wow moment, with pain and work, but for such a good result.
Kids and babies being neglected is criminal. But all ages of person deserve attention, touch, to be heard, and to have our needs met. Adults, elders, teenagers–everyone. Being heard, understood, and loved as we are is no luxury!
That’s what I want community for, and why I build community. In a Las Vegas Radical Mental Health Collective meeting, we do love, if only for an hour and a half.
There are many reasons to go to radical mental health, but love is a huge one. A psychiatrist will listen for a few seconds, make decisions based on appearances and magic words, and write a prescription.
Love is nothing I’ve ever found in a doctor’s office. But love is the most healing thing in the world.
Being a great listener is one of my favorite ways to love. Some people don’t see me as a valuable person to talk to.
Friends who find me a great listener and seek me, to share life with, you are so sweet to me. Love to the truth tellers, truth dulas, and friends who can see value that the world in general can’t.
I made this meme too, the old fashioned way.