Dangerous Compassions


I was curious about how testosterone level varies through a menstrual cycle.  Graphs are cool–I saw a graph that showed four different hormones over the course of a cycle.  But none was testosterone.

Then I saw that graph was for a website about managing diabetes.  It was saying how hormone levels affect insulin resistance, and I was excited.  I’ve experienced changes in how blood sugar works in my body, and I know stress affects it a lot.  But I didn’t know my hormones over a menstrual cycle were affecting it too.

I told Ming about it, and he was curious.  Here’s the link to the article, which includes the graph.

It felt satisfyingly validating.  I have all these experiences in my body, and mostly they’re ignored, discredited, or denied by mainstream medicine.  When I see science that acknowledges my reality, I feel happily vindicated, and glad I listened to my body and am smart about myself.

I don’t have diabetes, but both of my parents did, so I’m curious about blood sugar and how all that works.  And hormones are fascinating to me.  Enzymes are cool too.

mind blown

Then I was googling about and found this wikipedia list of human hormones.  I just about had my mind blown.  I had no idea we had this many hormones, potentially.  Silly me.  I would have guessed we had 10 hormones or so.  Wow, I had no idea.  Check out this list.

I don’t need to see a movie where snakes blow up on a plane–I can just read wikipedia articles on science stuff.  That’s my thrill.  I think that means I’m officially a geek.


Eventually I hope to get old, so I hope to have menopause.  The average menopause age in the US is 51.  So I could get it soon, or I could get it in another 15 years or more!

I kept thinking I was almost done with periods.  Seriously, I would buy some menstrual products and be like, don’t want to get too big a package!  This might be my last period!

Now I’m laughing at how naive I was.  Oh, Laura-Marie.  Your nativity is adorable.  Maybe one day I can be as silly as you.

Menopause is a whole other thing to learn about.  Testosterone might be involved with that also.

Some cool zinesters made zines about menopause–I know I traded for one or bought one, but I never really read it past page two.  Menopause is pathologized, like other normal cis-lady things, like pregnancy.  But we can decide for ourselves what’s a problem, what’s a perk, what’s a challenge, what’s a mixed blessing.

I can’t ask my mom about her menopause.  But I could ask her sister.  That aunt I would ask got a headache once a month during her period, like I do.  So maybe we’d be good hormone buddies.  Maybe we have similar deals.

trike ride

We had a good trike ride.  I have this new mauve tank top.


By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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