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Dangerous Compassions

goddess temple

We went to the goddess temple so I could finally meet the caretaker.  She’s been there a while now.  But I was hiding out and laying low, as I grieved my mom.  Grief is the hardest work I’ve ever done.  So I didn’t meet the caretaker till yesterday.

She made muffins and served us fruit with yogurt sauce.  We talked about building bridges, love, coming together to do the good work.  Boundaries, fear, what safety is.  Infighting distracts us from what we need to do.  It was an important conversation.

She wanted to hear my take on what happened, during the transition between priestesses.  So I told the whole story as I saw it.  It was fun to hear what I included in this version for this specific person.  How honest I was willing to be.

offerings

But before that, Ming and I walked to the temple.  I left some offerings and sang three Mother songs, to Sekhmet.

goddess temple

Singing felt really good.  I sang as loudly as I comfortably could, my voice filling the space with its vibrations.  The three songs I know by heart, and it felt good to sing with my eyes closed, then stare up at Sekhmet and feel so much gratitude to her.

goddess temple

Also grateful to Ming for taking some pictures of me without my knowledge.  He has open consent for that!

This herb bundle was sent to me as a thank you gift from someone I sent a copy of an herbal abortion zine to.  The person had grown the herbs in their garden.  It was a super beautiful gift, and I was happy to pass it along to this goddess who helps me feel strong and who I’ve prayed to so many times, over the years.

herb bundle

what a witch is

The friend who inspired the blog post yesterday about how and why I’m a witch really enjoyed it.  He commented that he doesn’t think I’m a witch–more of a magician.  To him, there’s an evil connotation to the word witch.

I see witch as a word to reclaim, like many of the words I use to describe myself.  Fat, queer, and crazy have all been used as slurs.  Getting the power from a word by transforming it to something more happy and accurate is a thrill.

I also associate witches with midwives–people who hold plant knowledge and earth knowledge to heal, and help us who need to have control over our own bodies.  Midwifery is sacred to me, as a health alternative to mainstream medicine.  Pregnancy is not an illness, and breastfeeding is not a medical problem.

The post from yesterday left a lot out.  So I’m happy to clarify today about the reclaiming of words.  I feel lucky that Ming took me to the desert nine years ago and showed me the goddess temple and all of these things that changed my life so drastically for the better.  Thank you for helping me find joy and meaning, sweetheart.

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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