I’m so happy about this band Lavender Witch. I’m zine friends with one if its members. This video is beautiful. I love the “you think you’re so much better than us” part. It makes me feel strong in who I am.
“Not My Sister” is addressing TERFs, I think. Or just anyone who says they’re feminist but is mean to queer and trans people–mean to anyone who might not be cis or might not be easily put into a neat box.
I find it exciting, relatable, and empowering. When I listen to Lavender Witch, I feel like I’m among friends, strengthened to do my life’s work. There’s no need to worry about pleasing men, doing capitalism right, or contorting myself to standards that I don’t choose.
It astounds me, how this music can help me feel safe. It’s almost overwhelming–I’m not used to feeling so supported in who I am. This is powerful medicine.
I love punk for women screaming their truths and mine, helping me learn that I can scream also. But this witch-specific music is taking that joy a step further.
I think of lavender as a calming herb, easy and sort of commonplace. But deep down, I know there’s great power in calming and sleeping–I need sleep really bad! And something doesn’t need to be rare to be valuable. The smell of lavender and its small, pretty flowers–it could look fragile, but there’s great power in fragility.
This herb has been hyped to me as weak, but fuck that. I criticize the world that taught me that. Lavender is not weak, and neither am I.
The aesthetic of Lavender Witch is amazing–the ideas, the sound, the brave way they set their truth before us. The truth feels direct. “Resting Bitch Face,” the spell, and all the songs help me learn about the validity of what I need.
The lack of guile feels unusual. The truth isn’t made cartoonish or watered down, like I usually see people present their truths. The intense clarity is disarming.
I need to be with other radical, non-men people. Every day, I need witch knowledge and practices. Definitely, I need to be close to people who understand my struggles. Sometimes I feel like I’m moving through the world tiptoeing, not to hurt the feelings of those who don’t really care about my well-being. I’m different from them, with a different kind of power, so I don’t really matter.
If I say I’m hurt by misogyny, ableism, fat shaming, or hatred of queer people, I’m patted on the head, or asked to explain and justify. But this music is based on togetherness, care, and mutual support. The understanding is a given–no need to explain or justify. It’s relaxing, to feel greeted by the love of this music. I say, “Aaahhhh! Finally!” and can become more of who I am.
That kind of relaxing feels crucial to building something new. When I live in stress of misunderstanding, I need to recover from affront, which uses up all of my resources. But when I can relax and recover enough to catch my breath, I can take time for myself, including visioning and experimenting. Then new brilliance can grow. I can get beyond maintenance and repair, to actually move forward.