- When I made a mistake and bashed my foot on a rock by the beautiful pool, only one of my toes was injured. I could still walk, slowly, back to our room. I didn’t fall on the weird path even though I was making poor choices. I’d been out of drinking water for a while, and my left shoe was sticky inside with mud and blood.
- My dreams bothered me, but were not harrowing.
- When I couldn’t sleep but couldn’t wake, I touched my tummy and said, “I love you, Laura-Marie,” in my head. I was there for myself, like I learned in the hospital when I almost died of that ulcer bleed and learned how to be there for myself.
- Ming’s first aid kit is better than mine, and he kindly bandaged my toe and closed the high window that was open above the door when I needed privacy. I was super jumpy. All sounds were freaking me out, especially when I didn’t know what they were. He was totally patient with me, like always.
- When I got lost because the way I went previous years was roped off, I thought that other trail might get me where I was going. I found that weird place with old chairs, cliff overhang shade, broken bells, ash tray, and around 20 dirty coffee mugs and mason jars. I realized I was somewhere I was not supposed to be, thought I was ok as long as I kept moving. I was afraid I’d encounter people having sex and harsh their experience. But that didn’t happen. But that was a step up from my usual fear of finding a dead body.
No bodies were harmed in the making of this blog post except my own! Arcosanti gratitude journal ftw.
