Dangerous Compassions


“Hey, honey!  I don’t understand your dressing!  How could it be so good?  I thought ranch dressing was horrible, the most boring shit ever!  So bad, it was offensive.”  I was excitable, about dressing.

“Is that because ranches have fences?” Ming asked.

“Ranches do have fences,” I said.  “Are we talking about ranchers shooting wolves again?”

“No,” he said.

snail duck problems

The other day we were talking about the permaculture concept “you don’t have a problem with too many snails–you have a problem with not enough ducks.”  I said how if you have too many ducks, you have not enough coyotes.  If you have too many coyotes, you have not enough wolves.  If you have too many wolves, you have not enough ranchers with shotguns.

It’s like that old lady who swallowed a fly and then needed to swallow a spider that wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.

The macabre next question was–what do you need, if you have too many ranchers with shotguns?  A silly answer is you need more aliens who like abducting ranchers.  A sadder answer is opioids, alcohol, car wrecks, domestic violence, and lack of access to healthcare.


Suddenly the other day, thinking about deescalation, I realized maybe we were doing it wrong.  The big news deaths are when cops kill Black people, people who are crazy such as myself, Asian people, kids.  Violence from cops is meaningful and horrible, and we need to stop it.

But I often think how drills in schools are supposed to teach kids how to survive a shooting.  But the worst threats to kids are not the shootings, but the violence and violation in their own families.  It’s easier to buy a bulletproof backpack than admit the biggest threats to kids are their own relatives.

So I was thinking about domestic violence and how women are killed a lot by partners.  Maybe it would make more sense to teach deescalation in intimate relationships, than with cops.  The deaths by cop get news attention, but the domestic violence deaths are everyday and so commons they’re less newsworthy.

radical mental health

Then I was thinking how one of the goals of radical mental heath is to help us do healthy relationship.  I like how we can communicate, care, normalize feelings, share ideas, talk stuff out.  Then hopefully we take those skills we practiced to carry with us.  We form a pocket of happiness.  The good social results can ripple out.

Does it work?  Hmm!  Do you know how many radical metal health people I’ve gotten close to, then had heart breaking, life rending, soul crushing, harrowing, agonizing breakups with?  It’s like–20 people.  That’s my norm!

  1. Meet amazing radical mental health person.
  2. Have fun getting acquainted.
  3. Fall in love, become besties, and/or begin planning a future together.
  4. Have some good times–write letters, talk on the phone, fly to New York, sew Christmas presents, do rituals, make zines, whatevs.
  5. Bad behavior, deep rift, 100% disruptive loss of dearest that teaches me a new meaning of emotional pain.  Like wow, I didn’t know I could feel that.

Sounds fun!  Let’s do that!  Nooooo!  Well, the problem is radical mental health people are the best people.  But also I think we are the worst people?  Is that possible?

dressing again

Ranch dressing is offensively boring, with the sick creamy bland badness.  With little green flecks that are supposed to help you pretend you’re not just eating a nasty non-food.  Look, there are green flecks.  It’s valid.

But wait!  How about if you add slight spiciness and faint orangeness?  Aw, then we’re talking a whole different food.  Chipotle Ranch or Jalapeno Ranch escape the fate of plain ranch and are legit foods, all of a sudden.

more pics

At the Corn Creek trail, I took a picture of the creek, with mega-mint at the edge.


These abundant catkins smelled really, really amazing.  Sweet like heaven.

corn creek

At the Goddess Temple, this Krishna statue was funny because at his feet is a while mug that says Best Boyfriend Ever.  Hahahaha!  Well played, Krishna.  Probably a gopi.


By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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