abuse

Here are some ways to say no to abuse.  Please feel free to use this language to explain a situation, break up, or ask for space.

no

1. I realize this relationship has become a way for me to distract myself from what I was put on Earth to do.
2. That’s not appropriate.
3. You’re not allowed to treat me that way.
4. I need to step away from this situation.
5. That doesn’t feel good to me.
6. That’s not something I’m willing to put up with.
7. I need to be treated in a way that feels kinder than that.
8. There are a lot of people who are willing to be respectful to me and love me in a way that’s mutually beneficial.  I don’t need to accept this behavior.
9. That hurts more than I can endure.
10. I deserve to be happy, and this is not happy.
11. No one is allowed to do that to me.
12. That’s not what I need.
13. Please take a step back and give me some space.
14. I can’t continue being treated like this.
15. I need to make a different choice right now.
16. Putting myself in harm’s way doesn’t make sense, so I need to stop this cycle.
17. I’m going to take some time off and contact you when I know what I want to do.
18. It wasn’t ok, when you did that.
19. I can’t continue having a relationship with someone who treats me that way.
20. My problems aren’t playing well with your problems.
21. I’ve compromised so much, in this relationship, that I’m not longer being true to myself.  Too many ways, I’ve bent to what you need, and you’re not bending to what I need.  It’s not sustainable.
22. I need to take a break from this relationship, and figure out what’s best for me.
23. Thank you for hearing me that I’m done trying, with you.
24. I asked you for what I needed many times, and you won’t give it to me.  So I can’t continue having this relationship with you.
25. It’s time for me to go.
26. Please leave me alone.
27. Thank you for the goodness you gave to me.  I need to try something different now.
28. I need to sort out some logistics, to separate my life from yours, and then I need to live completely without you.
29. Please respect my need to say goodbye and put my energy elsewhere.
30. The relationship we’re having isn’t in keeping with my life’s goals.
31. Your values and projects aren’t aligned with my values and projects.  I tried long enough.
32. You’ve hurt me to the point that I no longer trust you or want to be near you.
33. I can’t be with you anymore.
34. The people who I most trust are telling me I need to stop subjecting myself to your abuse.
35. I can’t live with violence.
36. Our relationship has become abusive, and I don’t want to be this person.
37. We’re not bringing out the best in each other.  I need to surround myself with people who I can do meaningful work with, have fun with, and we inspire each other.
38. It’s time for me to try something different.
39. Our relationship has become more harmful than helpful to me.  I’ve tried to adjust my expectations and behaviors for a better outcome, but I can’t find a way to make it work.
40. I asked you for help, building a happier relationship, and you’re not following through with that.  So I need to be done.
41. It no longer makes sense for me to follow through with my commitment to you, because sacrificing my well-being isn’t what’s best for either of us.
42. The world needs me.  I can’t do my life’s work if I’m constantly busy experiencing, dodging, and recovering from your abuse.
43. Staying in this bad situation isn’t good for me, you, or anyone.
44. It’s best for everyone involved if we no longer remain connected.
45. Your abuse means I can’t be vulnerable to you anymore.
46. It’s been a long time, and we haven’t figured out how to relate in a happy way, so I need to be done with this struggle.
47. Please accept my need to be released from this relationship.
    

beltane

Happy May Day!  Love to the Earth, to workers, to pagans, and everyone dancing around a may pole.  I hope you have flowers, unions, sweetness, freedom, and everything you need.