Dangerous Compassions

bad girls

It was early morning; Ming was still waking up.  I didn’t want annoy him, so when a song began to play, I asked, “Is this ok?”  It was Bad Girls by MIA.

He danced a little bit, to indicate he liked the song.

“Oh, you’re a dance slut,” I said.  “You would dance to anything.  Even something really bad!”

We laughed.  His taste in music can be weird.

“Oh!  This song Bad Girls is the one I wanted you to help me understand the music video.  You wanna watch?”

He came over to me, and I restarted the song.

Some of my questions were–what are these people doing?  Why are there guns?  Why is the oil burning?  Is it to destroy it there, to drive up the value somewhere else?  Why are they driving like that?  Why does she not have her hair covered, but the other ladies do?  Does she have a British accent because her parents sent her to England for school?  Why are those people standing on the pipeline?

I was guessing there was a movie associated with the video, but I didn’t know.  I had heard the song before seeing the video, and was intrigued by the “chain hits my chest when I bang on the dashboard,” visualizing that.  Why would the chain hit her chest?  Why did she bang on the dashboard?  Wouldn’t the airbags deploy?

“Get down” is something I associate with gunfire.  Like hitting the deck.  I could hear something about sex in there also.  “What we got left is just me and you” like there was a process of elimination, and then there’s the idea of taking someone to bed.

not confused


Ming’s answers were straightforward.  He seemed way less confused.  Even the guy on the horse seemed not challenging to him.

“This is just how they have fun?” I asked.  It seemed an unlikely scenario.  “Look, there are more than 45 millions views.  Wow, people really like this song!” I said.

We read some of the comments; someone noted that women were not allowed to drive in a particular Middle Eastern country.  Ming found that significant.

I started daydreaming about how I heard women are not supposed to play didgeridoos, or dance the haka, usually.  Maybe a lot of people wanted to see the video, related to breaking a taboo.


I’ll break a taboo.  Yeah, loving my fat body, ecstatic trike riding, talking about my voices.  I break taboos every day.

bad girls

This goddess is helping me feel strong today.  I’m strengthened by fat goddesses, angry women, and bad girls.

I remember my awe, when I first saw Venus of Willedorf’s fat body, when I was a young person.  How amazed I felt to be represented.  Confused, embarrassed, thrilled, intrigued, excited all at once.  I never saw bodies that looked like mine, depicted.

Wow, a long time ago, people might have found my body beautiful, I thought.  I cry, to write that.  I find my body beautiful every day, now.  Ming does too.  If you don’t, I’m sorry for you.

bad girls

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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