Dangerous Compassions


“Why doesn’t everyone do this with their arms?  It feels so good!”  We were at the park, standing near the parking lot. I was moving my arms around in big motions, like swimming.  My shoulders felt so good, to move like that, my hands twinkling.

“Because they’re afraid of looking weird,” Ming answered me.

“Oh!” I said, nudged out of my complacency by his casual, intense honesty.  “But it feels so good.  Do I look really weird?”  I thought of stimming, through the years.  What I would allow myself to do in public, and what I would not.

“Yeah, we’re good at weird,” Ming said.

“How do you know the right amount of weird to look?” I asked, moving my arms around in new ways.  “How do you moderate that?”

“If people are following you?  Or if people are running away from you.  If people are flocking to you, like a flock of geese,” he said.

“Or if only geese are following you?” I asked.

Different animals have different rules, for sure.  We had seen some legit duckage, at this park, moments before.  The little creek has water in it, and there was a female mallard in the water, with two males.  Then one male was trying to chase off the other.  Whoa, not very subtle ducksexual anger there.


who’s following Ming

“Right,” Ming said.  “Not that many people are following me.”

“What are you talking about?  You have one and a half thousand facebook friends,” I said.  I thought of followers in the sense of instagram followers, or cult leaders.  “How many people said happy birthday to you on facebook?  Like a hundred?”

“More than that,” he said.

“Well, there you go.  Everyone likes you, sweetheart.  I follow you.  I like you.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” he said.

I was still moving my arms around, and looking at my own shadow.  This skirt makes an amazing shadow, especially in the breeze.

“Well, everyone should do this, because it feels amazing,” I said.  “It’s like you can go swimming, without the water.”


By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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