Dangerous Compassions

thank you to Ming


Dear Ming, Thank you for cleaning the stove last night.  It looks beautiful!  It’s easier to cook when I’m not dodging old beans, ends of asparagus stems, brown leaves, potato eyes all looking at me, from the refuse pile.

Thank you for when you cover me with the blanket and give me the little pat pat pat.  I feel so safe and known.  You are amazing.  And when you kiss Bunny.

Thank you for enjoying the food I make, and making me food sometimes too.  I love how you learn, change, and grow.

Thank you for how you were kind to my mom and did such a good job helping me with my family struggles and being good to them.  Your kindness is stellar, even in the face of unfairness.


Thank you for caring for our beautiful garden, so we can benefit from all those health-giving tree collards.  I love plant joy, abundant parsley, flowers, praying mantises, change, and new growth.  People think it’s our garden, but I know who does almost all of the work.  Thank you for watering and visioning.  My life is so much better with a garden.  I appreciate you.


Thank you for supporting my health and happiness by maintaining my trike and keeping an eye on all that.  You are generous and good.

Thank you for accepting that I’m going to write about you and even enjoying it.  A lot of people don’t want to appear in print!  I love your refreshing openness and willingness to live your life as an example and ministry of love.

Thank you for buying me basil, apples, pine nuts, squashes, pecans, rice noodles, pears, olive oil, and other delicious foods, and keeping our small family going in all the ways you do.  Like a pro, you stepped up to become our designated shopper, and I will always be grateful to you, for removing that stressor from me.

Thank you for taking a deep breath when I ask you to, communicating with me honestly even when it’s hard, and showing up for relationship in a totally grown up way.  You are a rare pleasure.

Thank you for how you do gender, how honest you are, and your trustworthy steadiness.  We go together so well.  Thank you for always learning what I need and giving it to me.  You get the spouse gold medal.


Thank you for tending to my health issues, like taking a look at where I had the biopsy and making sure I’m healing ok, seeing if my toes look ok, helping me navigate doctor bullshit, and kissing me when I have a fever and ask you if I feel warm.  How you nurture and care is an inspiration.  I wish everyone was like you.

Thank you for letting me be me, giving me freedom, and caring for me without over monitoring me or intruding.  You find the perfect balance.  How are you deeply interested and supportive, without being controlling?  How do you do that?  Do you know how vastly people fail at that, or just don’t care at all?  You blow my mind!

Thank you for seeing your own life and challenges very clearly, and working on the struggles every day.  I appreciate how you never give up.  Thank you for keeping things in motion, and teaching me what it means not to ossify.  That’s a cool word too.

Thank you for teaching me what it means, to really help–so many people will help with their own agenda, on their own terms, in a twisted way that often creates additional problems.  But you taught me what it means to help in a specifically desired way, almost ten years ago, months before we had ever kissed.  For that I will always be grateful.


Thank you for loving my art, and admiring what I show you, giving me feedback, and making time for me.

Thank you for doing language with me, forming a vocabulary with me, joking with me, and collaborating with me on old jokes and new.  It’s worth more than gold.

Thank you to Ming, for doing street medics, making peace, feeding people, forming community, and living a life of service.  What if the world was full of people who lived like that?  We would all know well-being.

Thank you to Ming, for keeping yourself going all these years, and being my family.  For sharing who you are, and so pretty.  I hope we have many more years of joy together, with inter-dependence and fun.

I love you more than anything.  Thank you for your love, and happy birthday.

your good good good good girlfriend always, Laura-Marie

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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