Dangerous Compassions

how I handle big feelings

A new friend asked how I handle big feelings.  Great question.  I will answer as honestly as I can.

how I handle big feelings

how I handle big feelings
  1. I talk to Ming about how I feel, emote to him, ask for feedback, explain intense situations related to the feelings.  Sometimes I ask him if he sees something I don’t see, or has ideas for a way I could find relief from overwhelm.
  2. I cry, feeling a wave of grief or sorrow, and catching the wave to ride with tears.  The more I cry, the better, almost, because crying now will prevent anxiety later from incapacitating me at an inopportune time.
  3. I write in my journal, explaining things to myself, making lists, making a plan, talking to myself kindly, narrowing things down.  For example, I choose three things I’m going to do, in response to a difficult situation.  That helps me focus rather than giving up with confusion.
  4. I talk to a friend, in an email or letter, or Marco Polo message, or txt.  I can ask for comfort.
  5. Cuddle with my darling Bun, the low needs / no needs toy bed buddy who is sweet and soft.
  6. Emotional first aid kit.
  7. Calming music.
  8. Pray, talk to ancestors, talk to myself.
  9. Touch my own hands, tummy, forehead, chest.  Take a shower, brush my teeth.  Put lotion that smells good on dry skin.
  10. Just keep breathing–take it minute by minute.
  11. Change of scenery.
  12. Eat a snack, drink some water, make tea, ask Ming to make tea.
  13. Tell someone the truth about how poorly I’m doing.
  14. Look at my behavior and see I’m not hurting anyone, so decide I’m ok.
  15. Do something kind for someone else.
  16. Reduce input–rest body and mind.
  17. Walk, trike ride, dance, stretch.
  18. Ask a friend for a distant visit.
  19. Imagine myself held by a giant goddess who is silently kind and 100% strong to witness my pain, unshaken by anything I could do, say, need, or feel.
  20. Go to wild desert and take off my shoes, touch rocks, kiss twigs, pray to trees, sing.
  21. Think of something I’d like to change about my life to improve it, but wait a few days to see if I really want to try it.
  22. Magnesium glycinate or oatstraw tea if I need help calming down.  (I learned about both from Chaya Grossberg, I think.)
  23. Lie in bed in the half-dark, ask Ming to touch my back in the circle.
  24. Make art, make a gift for someone, make pesto or another nourishing food.
  25. Work in the garden, planting a few seeds, moving pots around in ways that make more sense, seeing what’s there, harvesting greens.
  26. Get sunshine.
  27. Hide out, if I need to.
  28. Gratitude journal with Ming.
  29. Trust myself and my own body.  Trust my cells.  Thank my body.
  30. Tell myself it’s temporary.

Here’s Bun with his new bread friend.

how I handle big feelings

poetry memes

I made some new poetry memes.  They are emotional for me.

poetry meme

poetry meme

I feel little response to this project.  The poetry memes are very delicious to me and meet my needs, so it’s confusing.  Other people don’t need what I need?

Oh well.  I made more Nevada postcards also.  A few I didn’t like, but I like these ones.

post card



By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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