A new friend asked how I handle big feelings. Great question. I will answer as honestly as I can.
how I handle big feelings
- I talk to Ming about how I feel, emote to him, ask for feedback, explain intense situations related to the feelings. Sometimes I ask him if he sees something I don’t see, or has ideas for a way I could find relief from overwhelm.
- I cry, feeling a wave of grief or sorrow, and catching the wave to ride with tears. The more I cry, the better, almost, because crying now will prevent anxiety later from incapacitating me at an inopportune time.
- I write in my journal, explaining things to myself, making lists, making a plan, talking to myself kindly, narrowing things down. For example, I choose three things I’m going to do, in response to a difficult situation. That helps me focus rather than giving up with confusion.
- I talk to a friend, in an email or letter, or Marco Polo message, or txt. I can ask for comfort.
- Cuddle with my darling Bun, the low needs / no needs toy bed buddy who is sweet and soft.
- Emotional first aid kit.
- Calming music.
- Pray, talk to ancestors, talk to myself.
- Touch my own hands, tummy, forehead, chest. Take a shower, brush my teeth. Put lotion that smells good on dry skin.
- Just keep breathing–take it minute by minute.
- Change of scenery.
- Eat a snack, drink some water, make tea, ask Ming to make tea.
- Tell someone the truth about how poorly I’m doing.
- Look at my behavior and see I’m not hurting anyone, so decide I’m ok.
- Do something kind for someone else.
- Reduce input–rest body and mind.
- Walk, trike ride, dance, stretch.
- Ask a friend for a distant visit.
- Imagine myself held by a giant goddess who is silently kind and 100% strong to witness my pain, unshaken by anything I could do, say, need, or feel.
- Go to wild desert and take off my shoes, touch rocks, kiss twigs, pray to trees, sing.
- Think of something I’d like to change about my life to improve it, but wait a few days to see if I really want to try it.
- Magnesium glycinate or oatstraw tea if I need help calming down. (I learned about both from Chaya Grossberg, I think.)
- Lie in bed in the half-dark, ask Ming to touch my back in the circle.
- Make art, make a gift for someone, make pesto or another nourishing food.
- Work in the garden, planting a few seeds, moving pots around in ways that make more sense, seeing what’s there, harvesting greens.
- Get sunshine.
- Hide out, if I need to.
- Gratitude journal with Ming.
- Trust myself and my own body. Trust my cells. Thank my body.
- Tell myself it’s temporary.
Here’s Bun with his new bread friend.
I made some new poetry memes. They are emotional for me.
I feel little response to this project. The poetry memes are very delicious to me and meet my needs, so it’s confusing. Other people don’t need what I need?
Oh well. I made more Nevada postcards also. A few I didn’t like, but I like these ones.