Dangerous Compassions

traumatic brain injury

“Is it ok if I like Traumatic Brain Injury people more than I like non-Traumatic Brain Injury people?” I asked Ming.

“Yes,” he said.

I love asking Ming ridiculous questions, and he is so good at answering them.

“Good, because I like you best of all!” I said.

the wall

There’s genes, there’s brain waves, there’s a fuckton of medication, and there’s Traumatic Brain Injury.  I’m talking about narcolepsy.  Ming doesn’t live in his own private Idaho–in fact, he fell asleep, during that movie.  Hahaha.  It was too arty for him.  Not enough explosions.

But yeah.  Ming told me how he was a little kid playing at school and hit his head really hard on a wall.  He had an issue and went to the school nurse.  He couldn’t stay awake, and his mom had to come pick him up.

He could have narcolepsy from the TBI, or it might be he hit his head because he had narcolepsy.  At any rate, his mom sure does sleep a lot.

Honestly, my mom’s mom fell asleep in cars and at the dinner table.  But maybe it was apnea, or having seven kids and an alcoholic husband.  Who knows.  She also had a job as a bee, hand pollinating flowers.  I miss her, but I don’t remember her.


Sometimes Ming will tell me something about his past that amazes me.  I’m surprised we went nine years and I never heard that story.

Sometimes I do the same to him, though.  Recently I told him about my first marriage being annulled through the Catholic church because my ex was turning Catholic to remarry.  I was mailed a packet and was supposed to fill out 20 pages or so of forms to prove the marriage didn’t count.

I was hurt-angry and ignored the paperwork and their subsequent attempts to get me to fill it out.  The paperwork asked for receipts for birth control, to prove we were not trying to have kids, to prove the marriage wasn’t real.

Wow, I’m still mad about that!  His desire to do Catholicism was his business.  Many people enjoy religious play.  But no way was he pulling me into it.  [Redacted fuming about authorized babymaking.]


Wow, that was more emotional than I expected.  Thanks for sticking with me.  Love to all the Traumatic Brain Injured people, learning disabled people, neurodivergent people.  You are amazing in your differences.  The world needs us.

planted tree

For example, the world needs us to plant Bartlett pear trees.



By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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