Dangerous Compassions


I wanted to tell you this whole story, how Ming and I went for a trike / bike ride, and this nut fell off my axle that holds on one of the back wheels.  It had fallen off before.  So I was mad, we didn’t deal with it well the first time, and it just fell off again.


When I bought that trike, I believed it was a valid, ok trike.  Reviews are weird because someone needs to be really motivated to update a review months or years later.  Usually they are based on early impressions.  But I thought a mantis trike was a kind of trike, and people know about them, but I don’t know about bikes or trikes, so I didn’t.

Then I got the impression–oh, this is a cheap ass, fly by night, random trike.  This is a flimsy trike that is not really going to last.  A short term trike.

I’d like to be in it for the long haul.  It’s ok if my trike doesn’t last.  It’s been almost a year.  Now I know riding trike is my joy, so maybe I should get a more durable one.


But the other day, we went for a ride, that day it was really cold.  A normal winter day here starts cold and gets warmer.  This day started cold and got colder–when it was supposed to snow here.  It did snow on much of Las Vegas, but not at our house.

I learned why people wear gloves.  My hands felt like ice.  I couldn’t feel my face.  It was freezing out.  But I warmed up a little as we rode.


Ming wanted to go to Soul Foo Young, this soul food Chinese place about a mile from home, on Owens.  I don’t eat restaurant food, but he likes it sometimes for a treat.  So we left our neighborhood to go over there, toward the Worker.

Ming ordered at the window, and I rode my trike around.  There was a dumpster in front of a house, and I triked to see the dumpster and stuff on the curb.  Then back to Ming.  He noticed I was missing a nut on my trike, a nut that is needed to hold on one of the back wheels.


I had thought we were going to be out for half an hour, and it was not hot, so I went without water.  My water bottle had fallen off my trike the day before, so it was being washed.

Also, I was hungry–I had started quinoa cooking in the rice cooker before we left.  Also, I was hella cold.  My face was numb.  “I don’t think this is a cardiac event,” I told Ming.  “I think it’s freezing.”  This is weird to me, because where I come from, it’s never that cold, or only in the night, when I would be sleeping.

So I was thirsty, hungry, really cold, and a mile from home.  Normally I can walk a mile ok, but this was not ideal conditions.  I couldn’t ride my trike because there was nothing holding one of the back wheels on the axle.

Also, I was angry because that nut had fallen off a week or two before, and Ming found it in the parking lot we were riding in and put it back on.  I was angry because I felt like we didn’t handle it well.  I had believed the nut falling off was a random thing, but it became a pattern.  So I was angry that we didn’t fix it better.

Honestly, I was angry with Ming.  I knew that didn’t make sense–he’s not my official trike maintainer.  Ideally, I would maintain my trike, or we would do it together.  But honestly, I am bad at mechanical things, and I prefer that he do it.


Finally Ming got his food.  He put in the basket of my trike.  Then he tried to find the fallen nut.  He rode his bike around, looking on the ground for it.  But I was really uncomfortable, from cold, thirst, hunger, and anger.

So I walked my trike back home, by myself, and three guys talked to me unwantedly.  They leave me alone, when Ming is there.  I really wish no men flirted with me.  Ladies–no problem.  Men, not so much.  Nonbinary people–sounds good.

Oh yeah, that was the same day we delivered the flowers to our favorite halfway house.

the end

We finally got home–I ate some quinoa and drank water.  Rested, glad I hadn’t been angrier and it hadn’t been nastier.

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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