Dangerous Compassions


[Drake wears an orange jacket and winces away from the idea of fine. In the second panel, Drake gives enthusiastic approval to crazy.]
I made a meme about crazy.  Drake seems pretty reprehensible in his “Hotline Bling” video.  I laugh and laugh, at Drake and the messed up, misogynist things he says to the addressed, in this song.  He’s so transparently trying to shame her into being loyal to him–staying home and not changing–when it’s clear, she’s escaped his orbit.  What an ass!

“You make me feel like I did you wrong,” is classic asshole guilt tripping, gaslighty dude bullshit.  Yeah, if she “makes you feel like” you did wrong, probably that’s because you did wrong?  Complaining about someone trying to hold you accountable is such a dick move.

The passport part is kinda creative–running out of pages in your passport.  I like that line, the visual of it.

“Used to be a good girl” is the part that makes me laugh the most.  Like she owes that to him, or anyone.  What a load of shit.



But the meme isn’t really about Drake–it’s about crazy.  A stranger told me I would be fine, about my mom’s death.  Afterward I was telling Ming about it.  “I’ve never been fine–I’ll never be fine.  I don’t aspire to fine.  Not fine about my mom dying–not fine about anything.  I am not a fine person.”

For me crazy is about vibrant aliveness.  Yeah, it’s possible to burn too bright and do harm–I know about that.  But I think after 44 years, I have an ok grasp on how to care for myself, mostly.

I’m doing crazy in mostly enjoyable ways: mad love, aliveness to reality, speaking my truth, facing the actual, feeling what I feel, remaining sensitized, making art, dancing when the spirit moves me, confusing strangers.
Fine is a place of denial and tepidness, subsisting, and not where I’ve ever lived–not where I aspire to live.  I’m laughing at clouds and planting seeds that may or may not grow, but it’s better than not even trying.
crazy hero
[Laura-Marie stands against a white wall, smiling, wearing tiedye.]
mad studies

Speaking of crazy, there’s a new Master’s degree program in Mad Studies, over in Scotland at Queen Margaret University.  Pretty exciting.

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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