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Dangerous Compassions

phone I hate

Ok, just to continue this new trend of tech reviews, I hate my phone also.  This is the worst phone I ever had.  So now I will write a bad review of this phone I hate.

real

This phone cost $200 or so, some LG android.  I needed a phone that had a decent amount of room on it.

My last phone was a free android we got for signing up with Cricket, and had only 16 gigs on it.  So having only minimal apps, it was always full.  I would delete all my photos periodically, and deleted the Duolingo app, which bothered me.

But it was still filling up all the time.  (Later I found out Cricket installed things on it unwantedly, and some things I thought were deleted really weren’t.)  So I decided to get a “real phone.”  Ming is the designated shopper in our family, so he went to the cricket store and bought me this LG phone with 64 gig.

slippery

I noticed right away it was extremely shiny.  This confused me–shiny as a mirror.  It’s glass.  I mean, who would make a phone out of glass.  So slippery, we would set it down on a surface just to watch it slide, recreationally.  We would laugh as it slid.  Almost like it was haunted or had a life of its own.

In a phone, people need Stay in their hand-ness, and Stay on a surface they set it on-ness.  These are basic phone things.  I guess the phone makers thought a glass phone looked cool, and that’s all that matters.  Well, in real life, people need to set phones down somewhere, and hold phones.

case

I think the whole thing of needing a case is pretty much a scam.  Why not just make phones that are durable?  Seems ridiculous.  Like phone cases are a planned necessity, so companies make fragile phones to force someone to buy a case, and they can add $20 to the sale.  Or more, for fancy cases.

I am disabled in a few different ways; one way is my right hand doesn’t grasp so well.  So I drop things a lot.  Also, I’m clumsy.

I harmed my phone when it slipped off this box by my bed and fell on a rock, on the table next to my bed.  The very corner of the screen got cracked, which I didn’t like.  But I thought it would not bother me much.

Then the next day, I full on dropped my phone on the concrete path in our courtyard.  Ming parked in our driveway, and I was tired, carrying my stuff toward the house.  The super slippery phone slipped out of my hand, and landed hard.  It broke, on the backside, the glass there.  The very corner is so broke it’s little particles, crumbly.  But the rest has a pretty shatter pattern.

I was a little afraid Ming would be mad at me.  He’d offered to get the warranty, but I said I didn’t need it.  He was not too pleased, but not mad.  Never had I done this to a phone before.  But of course, I’d never had a phone made of glass.

My good friend recommended a type of case she got cheap at walmart.  So I looked for a case online that would fit this jank-ass phone.  And I ordered one.  I hope it comes soon, because obviously this phone needs a case–not optional.

software

As for its software, I will be typing a txt or whatever, and accidentally tap the wrong part of the screen, on the lower right hand side.  And it asks me to choose between two different keyboards.  A google keyboard and some other one?

I don’t really give a care, what keyboard I use.  But I would prefer not to be asked this question over and over.

Sometimes I get painted into a corner.  I will click the “see more” on a long txt, it shows me more, and then the options on the bottom are “reply” and “delete.”  Often I don’t want to reply or delete–I want to return to the txts of this person, or the over all txts screen.

So I’d be like–uh…neither?  But there’s no back arrow.  I eventually learned I could click reply, and that would take me back to that person’s txts, and then I would not reply.

photos

There’s a photos option on this phone–it’s called gallery.  So it has google photos, this new to me gallery, and maybe file where they’re saved to the phone directly?  It’s hard, having so many places photos can be.

The camera itself seems ok, but I would have problems sometimes when I pressed the button to take a picture; it wouldn’t take.  I was like–um, is that too much to ask?

I realized it mostly does that when I try to take a picture of the sky.  Maybe it freaks out because it doesn’t know what to focus on?  So I learned if I tap the screen anywhere, it will then take the picture.  I force it to stop trying to find something to focus on.

To me, I shouldn’t have to deeply sympathize with the feelings of my phone, figure out why it’s upset, and do a different behavior to assuage its feelings.  Phone should just do what I ask them to do.

But I know phone designers and software people are trying to account for the stupidity of people, and make phones smarter than people.  “Of course you don’t want to take a picture of the sky.  Who would be interested in the sky?  You want to photograph people and products, only.  Maybe a pet, your meal, or a flower.  That’s all you get to want.”

sky
[Many small puffy clouds glow in the sunlight.]
pretend

This is not a real review, of a phone I hate, in that I will not submit it to LG or Cricket or whatever, telling them how stupid it is to make a glass phone.  I’m sure they know by now, what stupid thing they have done.  But I hope you enjoyed hearing of my folly.

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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