It was a weird-ass Halloween. I finally talked to my friend who’s back in prison. He’d been calling me, but I missed his calls. Usually my ringer is off–I only turn it on for specific reasons.
So I was looking at my phone and saw that call, from that area code. I hadn’t heard my friend’s voice in a long time. I was amazed at how good he sounded. More lucid than I am.
I’m trying to do 15 things at once. Not exaggerating.
- write this blog post
- prepare mail to C
- prepare mail to J
- find a thing
- prepare mail to B in prison
- prepare mail to B’s friend A which I don’t have a lot of faith will get there
- listen to Sufjan Stevens
- help Ming write something
- list some things Ming needs to pick up at the Worker
- keep an eye on my txts
- nurture my back and be kind to my body
- prepare mail to R
- prepare mail to another C
- email w
- decide something
I just did many things not on this list. Really I would prefer not to cycle through activities, switching every 30 seconds. I wrote a song–might be good.
The Fat Rose fat dance over zoom yesterday was exactly what I needed. I felt so happy, then high afterward. The costumes were great. Some LED dragon wings. A manatee–god, I love manatees. A spookily beautiful cat-headed person. Some costumes I didn’t understand.
I was dressed as a witch–I wore a black silver glitter dress, a black lace mask, an amethyst crystal necklace. Probably nobody knew I was a witch, but that’s cool.
Felt great to dance longer than usual and ask my body to do something I don’t usually ask for. The new music felt great too.
I treated it as ecstatic dance. My body was moving however it wanted to. I was getting out some feelings, with the movement. Something was expressed that was super important.
Also, I was honoring my fatness. Felt great to be my fat self with other fat selves. I love those peeps! I was ok, wanted, appropriate. Gratitude for the stranger-love of the other dancers flowed through my body.
The experience was self-nurturing while also connected and community-making. I crave interacting with other humans in a non-verbal way.
I’m so hungry for non-verbal! All day, I’m doing words. You might have noticed.
This was my favorite song from the fat dance party yesterday.