fat dance

It was a weird-ass Halloween.  I finally talked to my friend who’s back in prison.  He’d been calling me, but I missed his calls.  Usually my ringer is off–I only turn it on for specific reasons.

So I was looking at my phone and saw that call, from that area code.  I hadn’t heard my friend’s voice in a long time.  I was amazed at how good he sounded.  More lucid than I am.

switchy

I’m trying to do 15 things at once.  Not exaggerating.

1. write this blog post
2. prepare mail to C
3. prepare mail to J
4. find a thing
5. prepare mail to B in prison
6. prepare mail to B’s friend A which I don’t have a lot of faith will get there
7. listen to Sufjan Stevens
8. help Ming write something
9. list some things Ming needs to pick up at the Worker
10. keep an eye on my txts
11. nurture my back and be kind to my body
12. prepare mail to R
13. prepare mail to another C
14. email w
15. decide something

I just did many things not on this list.  Really I would prefer not to cycle through activities, switching every 30 seconds.  I wrote a song–might be good.

fat

The Fat Rose fat dance over zoom yesterday was exactly what I needed.  I felt so happy, then high afterward.  The costumes were great.  Some LED dragon wings.  A manatee–god, I love manatees.  A spookily beautiful cat-headed person.  Some costumes I didn’t understand.

I was dressed as a witch–I wore a black silver glitter dress, a black lace mask, an amethyst crystal necklace.  Probably nobody knew I was a witch, but that’s cool.

Felt great to dance longer than usual and ask my body to do something I don’t usually ask for.  The new music felt great too.

I treated it as ecstatic dance.  My body was moving however it wanted to.  I was getting out some feelings, with the movement.  Something was expressed that was super important.

Also, I was honoring my fatness.  Felt great to be my fat self with other fat selves.  I love those peeps!  I was ok, wanted, appropriate.  Gratitude for the stranger-love of the other dancers flowed through my body.

The experience was self-nurturing while also connected and community-making.  I crave interacting with other humans in a non-verbal way.

I’m so hungry for non-verbal!  All day, I’m doing words.  You might have noticed.

This was my favorite song from the fat dance party yesterday.