My friend gave me this shirt for my birthday. It’s not my usual size but fits anyway. I feel loved.
the party
Being social in person exhausts me. It’s hard for me to concentrate and respond appropriately. I want to drift off–I have to keep reeling myself back to shared reality. Trouble staying on the same wavelength, trying not to flicker into another dimension.
It took all my energy, to spend almost two hours with my community. Scared me, that it’s getting harder to be social. It was already hard before.
Like conversation wasn’t working as a medium anymore. I’d rather pray or sing, or do some other word thing than conversation. I wanted to gratitude journal together–thought I’d ask, but chickened out.
Really I would rather dance together, walk together, or some other bodily thing–not language. Just hold hands and be quiet. But covid means we’re not holding hands.
nonviolence
I asked Ming to record me reading from this essay I wrote about why I believe in nonviolence and community. It’s from resisting capitalism for fun #4.
It’s about what peace is, how I won’t participate in an arms race, and how everyone has done harm–how we’re treated afterward affects the outcome. We all deserve a place at the table of humanity.
I’m lucky that when I did something wrong, I was forgiven rather than ostracized. Grateful for second chances.
thank you
Thank you for loving others as you can and supporting the people you are lucky enough to hold dear.
