Dangerous Compassions

bad medicine


Please have faith I’ll get to my point, as I tell you this tale.  I’m angry the medical system is fucked, and it’s both general and personal.

last year almost dying

When I was in the hospital, I had four roommates–two in ICU, two in regular.

1.  angry confrontative lady who freaked out a lot

2.  lady who had just miscarried and had a lot of supportive family

3.  lady who had multiple bad issues and left against medical advice, fed up with the bullshit

4.  lady who had a hysterectomy, nice husband, and vomited 20 times

My first roommate coughed almost constantly.  She had multiple infections.  The room was small, and the cleaning seemed pretty bad.  Sharing a bathroom with her seemed to be a terrible idea.

If you don’t want to spread around infections in a hospital, seems obvious that people with infections could be kept in a single occupancy room.  That whole time, we weren’t doing what was actually best for the health of me, my roommates, nurses, or anyone–we were doing what was most possible for overworked staff and what made most sense for money.

I can imagine a hospital with more single rooms, way more nurses who aren’t overworked and stressed to the max, more cleaning people, and better possibilities of partner or other family or friend being able to stay near, rather than getting kicked out certain hours, leaving me without love-comfort and advocacy.

Rich country could make hospitals that are way better designed and have better outcomes.  But the hospital I was in even for five days, it was painfully obvious to me that the hospital was more about making money and expediency than about people actually getting well.

why that is

Thanks, capitalism.  Pretty weird, huh.  Wouldn’t that be cool if hospitals were safe? My friend’s dad died of c. diff he picked up at a hospital–he went in for back surgery and was dead days later.  I came home with the worst cough of my life that I don’t think was related to the ulcer bleed I went in for.

Infant mortality sucks, crazy people such as myself don’t get what we need, to understate wildly, and fat people being shamed so we avoid doctors and die more is every-fucking-where.

Sad, the stubborn blame and power problems, but money the most.  The persons getting rich off the suffering of others, not sure how they can live with themselves.  Their pockets are lined with money by a nurse having to care for twice as many people than would make sense, the floor being mopped inadequately and infrequently, not enough parking in the lot, and me being served fake juice with high fructose corn syrup during the four days I wasn’t allowed to eat food.

covid nurse

All this I’m thinking about because my friend who works as a covid nurse caught covid.  I’m mad because he was so careful but caught it anyway.  Not sure, but I’m guessing he was exploited and not given the support he needed.  If the system worked well, maybe he would not be sick right now, sleeping a ton and not sure how bad a strain he caught.

You tell me capitalism is great, allowing for innovation, people are motivated by money, and if you work hard, you get what you need.

Or you tell me capitalism is flawed but there is no better system.  Every other system fails worse.

Or you tell me it’s not capitalism itself that fails– it’s just not being done right, something about human nature and competition.

I would tell you that it’s not acceptable to have a shitty infant mortality rate, or that my friend’s dad died of c. diff, or that third roommate I had in the hospital was so under-supported, disrespected, and poorly cared for that she would rather go home and die than keep getting jerked around.

Capitalism isn’t working right.  The system is not ok.  Capitalism is racist, misogynist, hurts parents and kids, fuels the military industrial complex and the prison industrial complex.  Voting the way you like is going to fix that?  I don’t need a better oppressor with a less painful whip.

I’m sorry I left the light on, in my side of the room.  I didn’t realize that was making it hard for her to sleep.  Forgot people sleep in the dark–Ming and I sleep with the lights on, a narcolepsy thing, for waking up easier from nightmares.

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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