Dangerous Compassions


laugh reasons

I laugh a lot with Ming and other friends.  I have a certain friend who makes me laugh more than anyone.  She has a big laugh that feels free and kind.  She’s a good example.  Her generosity makes it easier.

But I laugh alone also, quite a bit, at my own daydreams.  Remembered and imagined conversations.  A pun.  A joke.  An awkward situation or misunderstanding that tickles me.

A way I amuse myself is seeing words in other words, or hearing them.  “You put the buddy in somebody,” I’ve said to Ming, or, “You put the fun in funeral.”

More than 20 years ago, I saw someone wearing a shirt that said, “I put the fun in dysfunctional,” and have been making jokes like that ever since.  I almost never tell them to anyone.  I just laugh to myself and keep going.

funny dream bit

A few days ago, I had a very brief dream that some relatives of mine were living in this small room in the building where I went to college. They were wholesome and happy, wearing old fashioned pajamas, in a big bed.  I woke up laughing.

Why would my relatives be living old fashionedly in that small awkward long room by the art yard?  O silly.  My best friend had a class in that room where she was the only student.  One day I sat in, can’t remember why.

confusing Laura-Marie

I laugh just because I’m happy.  I confused a kid a while back, on a zoom.  “Mommy, why is she laughing?” the kid asked.  Yeah, I was just happy.  Sorry to confuse, kid.

I laugh alone in bed, reading txts from friends or comments on facebook things.

I have this silly chuckle that’s kind of a stim.  Didn’t know an utterance could be a stim.  But it comforts me.  It’s like, “Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh!”  It’s just a little something for my mouth to do, soothingly.  Self soothe.  Nobody’s ever heard it, probably, except for me and Ming.


The sun is coming up, but my trike wheel with a spoke problem is in the shop.  It’s not supposed to be done for two days.  I’m sad.  What use is the dawn, if I can’t ride my trike in it?  Guess I gotta go for a walk.

errant wheel

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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