Dangerous Compassions

extreme spouse sweetness ftw

Ming took this picture of me yesterday.  I wasn’t feeling pretty, but I think I look adequately pretty.  I don’t think how pretty I feel corresponds with how I look.

Behind me is this vacant lot in my neighborhood, and it has that crop circle thing in it from some random driver doing donuts, I think.  I used to be obsessed with crop circles, long ago.  Jeeze.  A lifetime ago.

Yesterday Ming was sitting near me.  He had more energy than usual, which is strange.  He wanted to go out.  I think he was feeling cooped up.  I didn’t need to go out.

He told me he found a sewing app.  I was surprised because I didn’t know he wanted to sew. 

This chromosome dress I’m wearing in this picture, it has that band of purple that hits me in a place that’s unfortunate because sometimes the seam is on my nipples, which is not ok for me, sensory-wise.  That means I have to wear a bra, to keep the seam off my nipples, and wearing a bra I don’t like anymore.

So Ming thought he could learn to sew, and sew a cloth into the dress that would keep the seams off my nipples.  He told me this, and it was so sweet, I started to cry.  I couldn’t believe the sweetness of this kind, generous person who wanted to help me in this way.  I was amazed that someone could love me that much.

I was crying a little, and Ming started to cry a little too.  Then he told me how the first learning to sew app looked good, but then he saw it cost a certain amount of money per year.  So he looked at other apps and their reviews, and found another one that you have to pay for.  We laughed.  Then he found a free one. 

It felt so good to sit there crying together then laughing together.  I felt so lucky.  What a nice Mixie.

I laid out a new zine, A Special Treehouse for Fat People #2: unconditionally ok.  Hopefully you don’t mind naked ladies. 

I realized I could put little bikinis on the drawings for when I want to post the cover on facebook.  I felt a little bitter than facebook wants to protect us from depictions of our own bodies.  Oh, the dangers of having  bodies.  What a dangerous world.

I decided the person on the front cover on the left side looks kinda like me, and the person on the right looks like Ming.  Even though the parts are different.  That calm, generous confident love.  How he can be so crazy and so stable at the same time, I have no idea.  I guess he has a gift.

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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