Thinking how getting our intentions to match our behavior doesn’t always happen. That’s very human, to me. Being able to want a thing I can’t have. Trying to manage time, energy, other resources, and intention into a life, smiling. I want to forgive me and everyone for ways we miss the mark.
Thinking how enlightenment isn’t a place to arrive, like I will do spiritual practices a ton and hope when I’m 70, a little bell will chime, and I’ll be enlightened. Ding!
More I see it as something we slip in and out of. I can be present and feel really happy and balanced and well, and that can last a second or three minutes or maybe an afternoon?
Then I’m strifed again. I can let it come and go. It’s ok.
I made a list of what’s most important to me, today. The top was being who I am. That’s not an evidence-based thing. I can’t measure my Laura-Marieness. But I can see if I feel happy and well, and slip in and out of that, with some ease and looseness.
That’d be cool if there was a Laura-Marieometer. We could hook this blog post up to the Laura-Marieometer. What do you think? Probably I’d give this a 7.5–rather Laura-Marie, but could be stronger. More wordplay and poignant humor, please.
The second thing I most want is using my gifts, which are sacred, both self-made and passed to me by my ancestors, for my mission on earth.
The third thing is deep connection with others. That includes spouse, community, family, and friends, each vital.
Then comes deep connection to the earth, God, mother energy, life force, Shakti.
Then is a good mix of safety and excitement-risk. I need both.
Then is multiple layers of community. People I live with, people I don’t live with but am doing something longterm with. Different layers of community around me like…valence shells?
Then is privacy, rest, quiet, aloneness, silence. So space, maybe. Fewer connections and responsibilities to other people, which sounds like the opposite of community, maybe, but I need that.
Last on the list (I skipped some confusing stuff that might be repetitive) is keeping sight of what I really want, intentionality, vision, knowing what I want, and a combination of short term work and long term work. So like doing chores and upkeep, but also visioning.
Well, now you know all my secrets. That’s me, as of 1:22am on 2020 Earth Day. I made a list like this a couple weeks ago, and it was similar. Maybe I should look at that one and try to combine the two.
Thank you to Mother Earth, my favorite planet. I love you. You were wearing pretty cloud-clothes yesterday.