I wrote all that stuff about relationships and feelings. I was feeling so frustrated with people not being able to talk about stuff.
Then I had a conversation with a friend. She told me she used to be like that. She was really afraid of people hurting her, she had problems with boundaries, and she would flee.
So then I got compassion, because I remembered telling another friend recently, “If people have hurt you so badly you’re too scared to be honest, that’s on them, not you.” It all seemed related.
Also I told Ming this story of how a test only tests how well you can take the test. Say there’s a student who takes a test, and fails it, and the teacher thinks the student doesn’t know the material. But the student could know the whole thing, but they didn’t read the directions right, they messed up the scantron, they missed breakfast and sleep and couldn’t focus?
If my friend won’t talk to me about their inner world, that doesn’t mean they don’t care or feel–it means they won’t talk to me about their inner world. Maybe I could wait another year? Who knows. I feel less hardcore about it. Thanks for baring with me. Or bearing with me or whatever.
I would be a bear with you. No problem! Grrrr!
I recorded a song–it’s by my friend Robert Majors. It’s my favorite song. Red. He sang it at my mom’s service, up in the prayer room, which I will be forever grateful to him for.
I like to sing it with him–maybe one day we can record it together.
I like how it’s about family. He explains perfectly something about love, anger, family pain, what we share and don’t share. It even has a dream–my favorite.
Well, Robert is a poet. Hopefully you can hear it right, sung correctly by him, one day.