Dangerous Compassions


I have a project–it’s been on my to do list for ages: get rid of my earrings.  I really can’t handle earrings. 

When I was little, I had my ears pierced at age 4.  My mom made me wait till I was 4.  That gives me a smile.

The little holes in my ears got infected multiple times.  Or maybe it was allergic reactions to weird metals?  Maybe I’m allergic to nickel.  The metal button fastening some jeans bothers my skin, sometimes, which has to do with why I almost never wear jeans anymore.

Then I was in college when I got a second piercing in my right earlobe.  My mom got a second piercing in her left at the same time.  We went together.  She wore a diamond in that one, all the time.  I wore a ruby, for a while.

Then my piercings would close, or mostly close.  I might try.  I think I’m just not meant for that.  It was always frustrating and weird, trying to get earrings in.  In some ways I wanted it.  But it was too difficult.

Anyway, it’s time for me to give them away.  I used to make jewelry–I guess I still do.  Oh yeah.  I’ve made a couple necklaces lately.  Usually the jewelry I make is super simple. 

I tried selling some on etsy, ten years ago.  Nothing ever sold.  Maybe I priced it wrong, or it was so simple, no one liked it.

I never know what others will like.  I write a lot of poems, and that’s a bad habit I’ve had since I was a child.  People could really like something I predicted no one would like, or not at all like something I find wonderful.  What’s happening in other people’s heads is mostly a mystery to me.

I did a cool thing, which was make some vajra earrings, out of these silver beads which are meant as spacers, I think.  Vajras are Buddhist, representing lightning bolt, diamond, or enlightenment.  They’re ceremonial.  They’re symbolic–I like them. 

I’ve never been Buddhist, but I was married to a Buddhist for ten years.  He didn’t do that kind of Buddhism that likes vajras.  But also I did Hinduism, and some say Buddhism is an offshoot of Hinduism.   How Christianity came from Judaism.

Well, I made these vajra earrings, long ago.  I loved them and wore them a few times.  To the right person, these could be very cool.  But most people are probably having no idea about the significance.

I wanted to get rid of these earrings, and I have one Buddhist friend, but I only saw them wear earrings very small, so I wondered if they might like them, but maybe the earrings are too big.

I realized I still had tons of silver spacer beads I used to make the vajras, so I could make some more, and make a necklace instead.  Did I still know how to do that? 

You take this certain kind of pin, and thread the beads on there how you want them, then hold the pin with this certain tool, and then use another tool (which is just small pliers) to grip the pin-end and bend it around into a certain shape… 

I would have to show you.  You make a loop and then swirl around the rest of it to secure the loop.  It’s very easy.  I learned at Wellspring Women’s Center at this jewelry making workshop, years ago in Sacramento.

To answer my question, yes, I still could do it.  In fact, I used to mess it up often, which was fine because pins are very inexpensive, and I could just cut it apart with these other sharp cutting plier things, and start over.  This time I made four little vajras, no problem.

I thought maybe I couldn’t see well enough up close, anymore.  I have these reading glasses in the bedroom, and I haven’t used them yet.  They’re waiting for their day.  Tick, tock!

Isn’t it funny how a thing can lead to a thing.  Piercings closing, get rid of earrings, look at old earrings, remember vajra beads, make new jewelry.  Probably this friend, I gave them enough jewelry already.  Who knows.

I had this metal thing with my jewelry making materials, like for a keychain I guess, to attach a thing to another thing, with a lever, where you can use your thumb to move the lever and open a loop?  It has a swivel on it.  You probably have seen these a hundred times, but what are they called?  You could attach your keys to your beltloop, maybe.  This is a small one though, slightly mini.

I had some extra-long pins and made a vajra with some beads above it, and then I did the loop thing with the swirlie.  And I’ll take this split ring I found, and attach the pin with vajra to the keychain thing. 

I would consider that a zipper pull.  So if my Buddhist friend has a backpack, they could put the vajra on there.  Or who knows.  They could tell me some request, to put the vajra with beads in some other form.

The funny thing is I worry that when I cut the pin, that will leave a sharp bit, and someone will get hurt on it, so I bought these tiny tiny files, which are called diamond files, to file the edge so no one will get hurt.  No one taught me to do this–I just thought of it.  Maybe I’m overly cautious. 

I think they’re not really made with diamond dust, as people complained in the online reviews that real diamond files are better somehow. 

But it’s funny because I used a diamond file on a vajra, which means diamond.  I don’t know.  Maybe not like ha ha funny.  But I get tickled by that sort of thing.

It was a set of ten, and I really only needed one.  So let me know if you need any tiny tiny diamond files.  Or any vajras, also.  (I need some small silver split rings, if you have any of those.)

I like how jewelry, I can usually take it apart and rearrange the components.  That’s fun.  Tomorrow I might look at all this and think it’s ugly or too weird or whatever, and then I can reconfigure everything.

But this night, I enjoyed it, finding beads and fasteners and this-n-that, listening to music that makes me feel good, creating art.  I felt extra open to my own intuition.  Or the universe or whatever. 

I’m doubting God cares about the jewelry I make–I’d think she had better things to do.  Like watch very smart people play chess, or watch people birth babies?  Maybe all she does is dance, or go swimming.  Who knows what she’s up to.  Oh, Mama.  Maybe they’re swimming in a river in the sky, somewhere.  Taking a dip in the Milky Way.

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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