1. Yesterday we went to the nearest YMCA and took a tour. I walked up the big flight of stairs like a champ. I think I’m not anemic anymore! I walked up the big flight of stairs like a chipper, healthy, non-disabled-physically human being who has the right amount of oxygen in her blood. Wow, amazing! We liked the tour. I’m going to do tai chi and chair yoga.
2. Ming helps me be who I am and get what I need. Open, generous, flexible, changeable. Right now I’m thinking how I went to bed just after 6pm and he didn’t bat an eye. He tucked me in and gave me a kiss. Wow, he is amazing. Watering the plants, doing dishes, doing laundry. Taking out the trash. Being trustworthy. Doing a ton for NDE. Treating my desires as important. Listening, caring, learning. Praising the food I make, even an everyday sandwich. What an amazing spouse.
3. It got cold again, but it’s ok. We learned how to manage with space heaters. I feel ok about this season, whatever it is–pre-spring turned cold again. Or second winter but with gorgeous spring light.
4. Two weeks since my mom died. It’s really terrible. I miss talking to her, her unique love, her vibrancy. I miss her shining her light into the world. I miss knowing she was there, always on my side and willing to hear me and catch me. I miss her hugs and holding her hand, the softness of her hair. I thought last summer, I would die soon. Now I feel so lucky to keep living and carry forward all my good things, but the good things Mom gave me as well.
5. Meaningful work to do–writing letters, making zines, helping with groups I believe in, caring for people, experiments with friendship, delicious foods to eat, ideas to share. Caring for myself so I can be healthy enough to be there for myself and others. Sometimes I feel undersupported and too alone, like people think Ming has me covered and are too hands off. Other times, I feel really nurtured and considered. Lotsa nice txts and community feelings, thanking God that I got what I asked for, when Ming and I moved here–all that and more.
I hope you have things to be grateful for also, reader.