I’ve thought for a while that it’s part of the parent’s job, to prepare the child for the child’s departure from home–to help the child learn how to live without the parent. And also to prepare the child for the departure of the parent to the other world.
I will help you learn how not to need my help. I will help you be strong and well without regard to me.
Then, if my parents didn’t do that, when I got to a certain age, I could parent myself. Hopefully I took the good parts of how I was parented into myself and learned how to do that on my own. Even if my litteral parents didn’t prepare me to be independent, they prepared me in another way.
I’m thinking about that. My mom died yesterday morning–Ming and I and R were at the pupusaria yesterday, after the visioning meeting, when I received the call. We held hands and prayed. Talked, cried, hugged. Ming took me home, and I lay in bed resting, feeling tons of feelings pass through me.
I’ve been preparing for this my whole life. I was formed inside my mom’s body–I was her loved passenger, nine months. Being born, I had to leave that warm home and be evicted into the world. So the first thing I ever did was lose her.
In many ways I’ve lost her, over the years, and this is a really big one, her crossing into death. But I’m trying to believe I can handle this because I’ve been practicing.