“Why do I spend so much time talking to bananas?” I asked. I have the bad habit of praying to my food.
“Because they look like phones?” Ming suggested.
How many times have I answered a ringing banana. “Hello? Oh, it’s for you,” and handed off a banana to a smiler. Not enough times, really.
Bananas are easy to talk to. Comical, yellow.
Yesterday I tried to watch a friend’s movie. I got four minutes in and hit pause, overwhelmed.
Who is this world designed for? I guess I mean culture. Some people seem to get by ok. But depression and anxiety are pandemic.
Sometimes I feel this world was designed for someone who doesn’t exist. Everyone’s a square peg.
Yesterday I almost went to the ER–today I feel pretty ok. Life is confusing, and medicine feels like a guessing game. I’m tired of swimming upstream, but I guess that’s life.
Someone used to say life was directing a stream of negative entropy upon yourself. Who used to say that to me? Probably John Dobson.
One of the cool things about Ming is how he can watch a two hour superhero movie full of explosions one day, and look at praying mantises in silence for 15 minutes outside our front door the next. I am a specialized person. Ming is more varied, and I love him.
I was the one watching him watch mantises for 15 minutes. I need to dance, eat breakfast, take a shower, and hope I can survive this day.