I reresearched iron-rich foods and made a list of the ones I want to eat more of. They are all yummy foods, so why not. I really need to heal my blood. I need more strength and all the energy I can get.
iron-rich foods I want to eat
potatoes–especially the skin
When I saw my primary care doctor the other day, he seemed angry that I’m still anemic. He said the ulcer is still bleeding, and my GI doc needs to do something about it. But what is she supposed to do. I’m the one who needs to heal.
Afterward I was talking to Ming about it–why did he get mad? Ming said the doctor was mad at the other doctor.
I was taking some iron supplements that are supposed to be really good. I ran out, so I ordered some more.
1. bee boxes
2. questions with no question mark
6. nature time
8. non-questions with a question mark?
9. hiding out
10. dreams, remembering my dreams, forgetting my dreams, hating my dreams, glimpses of dream memory that come unbidden throughout the day and confuse me and make me dizzy, dream-feeling residue
12. delicious clean water
Last night I was feeling so lost. I told my friend, I felt like I was living my life by throwing darts. Something seems like a good idea one moment and a bad idea the next. It’s hard to trust myself. Friendship baffles me. It feels like air. Too much imagination, not enough…what? It’s like I want things to be solid that aren’t supposed to be solid.
Ming wants to change the laws of physics. He doesn’t like when things are in front of other things. He also hates sliding. I said he could petition for a change. Something tells me it’s a bit late in the game to change physics. I was thinking about how water freezes when it expands. Don’t want to change that one.
Ming’s hated things
1. stuff in front of stuff
4. inadequate dishwashing
5. that time someone came to fix the sink and casually put some dirty equipment into the clean dish drainer
6. when someone says they want to help but has their own agenda and helps in an unhelpful way
7. facebook quirks about being logged in as a person vs logged in as a group
8. inappropriate disability advice? oh wait I think I’m the one who hates inappropriate disability advice
my hated things
1. full voicemail boxes
2. I’m sorry but this subscriber has a voicemail box that is not set up yet
3. vehicle breakdown anxiety
4. sleep deprivation to the point of memory loss, decision making trouble, and other stuff I can’t remember or can’t decide whether to mention
6. muddy parsley
7. being misunderstood long term
8. when people post extremely disturbing news on facebook that I don’t know what to do with, like they’re in a disturbingness contest
9. getting lonely while needing a break from being social
10. people who lack the imagination to see things from any perspective other than their own
11. assumptions about me based on common values that I reject
12. a place for everything and everything all over the place
Yesterday in the courtyard I saw three cicada exoskeletons stuck to a mesquite tree. I’d never seen them before. I wanted to take a picture but didn’t have my phone. I’ll take a picture for you in the morning, if they’re still there.
I don’t usually imagine stuff that doesn’t exist. But yesterday I was imagining, what if there was something like a tomato you could make delicious sauce out of, but not as strong and overpowering as tomatoes. Some fruit like a mild tomato yet still delicious. Maybe it does exist but my food circle is too small.
I found this packet of razor blades in my desk drawer that looks older than I am. They’re double-sided.