Dangerous Compassions

dress weights

I thought of a great bad invention–probably everyone thinks of it–of dress weights.  They are four weights you have attached to clothes pins and you pin them on the hem of your dress before you go out into the wind.  Then no one sees your chonies.

I’m walking through a parking lot, keeping my hands by my sides, trying to keep my dress down so no one sees my chonies, visualizing dress weights.

“You should use bells,” Ming said.

“You mean like cow bells?” I asked.

“No, smaller,” he said.

“You mean like jingle bells?” I asked.

“No, smaller,” he said.

“You mean like…mini-jingle bells?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said.

I’m thinking those are too light, but it makes sense to him.

We’re at the hotel–we can rest now.  We had a whole conversation this morning about pigeons.  He was saying their poo goes into the air and makes people sick.  He sounded anti-pigeon.  I was pro-pigeon.

“The only way a pigeon would make you sick with its poo would be if you actually lived with pigeons, like they were pooing right next to you five times a day,” I said.  “And if you lived with pigeons, the pigeons would be the least of your problems.”

Then he brought up crows, and I was saying crows were way more loved than pigeons, and he was saying crows are bad too.  I told him lots of people want to be called Crow or Raven, and nobody wants to be called Pigeon.  I was referring to pagans specifically–Moonpigeon doesn’t really happen.

This morning I felt really ready for this trip, more ready than usual.  But I realized we take so many roadtrips–we should have a better system for packing.  I was thinking how we could do it better.  I know we packed a bottle of tylenol, but I don’t know where it is.

Oh, a public service announcement–saltwater taffy can have gelatin in it.  I was reading ingredients on candy bags at Eddy World and was upset to see the gelatin on the label.

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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