Dangerous Compassions


I feel overwhelmed with things to do.  I was in a visioning meeting all morning, 8:30 to noon.  I slept in till almost 8, strangely.  So we were almost late to the meeting.  Ming had forgotten about it.

So now I’m supposed to type the notes.  I gave feedback on the second draft of a contract while eating lunch.  I proofread the NDE newsletter four times.  I sent emails, asking questions that are ignored. 

I feel overworked and underappreciated.  Misused, overused, used.  Also there are gender things.

I was crying in the minivan.  Ming says I am super-capable, and the people around me are less capable and can’t keep up.  I feel blamed.  I feel hurt and tired.

He’s folding the newsletter in the back house with H.  I feel like giving up, or like going on strike.  There aren’t enough people to do the work.  I need to say no, I guess.  But then there’s nobody else to do it.  Ming is overloaded also.

I want to be happy–it’s good to have meaningful work.  But where are the other people to help, and why am I the only woman on the board?

Sometimes I feel there’s not enough comfort in this world to comfort where I hurt.  I should be taking it easy–my labs showed I’m still anemic.  The Sacred Peace Walk is next month.

Our friend is coming tomorrow at noon at do some volunteer work.  But sometimes it feels like work to get helped.  I need to think of what to do.  And we’re supposed to have breakfast with someone.  And then there’s the Saturday meeting.  And radical mental health at 6pm.

Well, I give up.  I can’t do all that in one day.  I’m off to Mexico.

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

One reply on “bye”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *