It’s the two-year anniversary of my dad’s death. The calendar for today is blank. I would like to give myself credit for good planning, but it just happened that way. I plan to take it easy and write some letters.
Yesterday at urgentcare, didn’t have to wait too long, got seen, didn’t have a panic attack. The doctor prescribed three things. I started the generic zyrtec this morning. We’ll see.
Over in facebook world, I upset a friend with an article I posted that really spoke to me about reasons people have for not voting. I disturbed her. She says we have to have faith in the system in order for it to work. I feel like it’s not really my fault that my life journey has led me to a place where I no longer believe.
Then someone else commented the cliche “you can’t complain unless you try to make a difference” but I would like to say, well, I do make a difference, every day. With serving the hungry, running an interfaith peace org, running a radical mental health collective, peace vigiling once a week…I do a lot more than vote twice a year or whatever.
I feel misunderstood and like a weirdo, but I feel like that a lot, so whatever.
Ming made coffee. I just wanted to stay in bed this morning. But Ming was hungry and I wanted to make him breakfast, so I did.
I used to pray a lot for god to bless the spirit of my dad wherever he was. I vaguely imagined him floating over a forest or on the moon or in the Grand Canyon or whatever, touring around. Where’s his spirit now? Two years. Maybe settled down somewhere? Heaven? I have no idea.