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Dangerous Compassions

silk scarf

Today I painted a scarf.  It was at the women’s center I go to.  I would like to show you a picture and might tomorrow.  It’s yellow and orange with green.  I used paint and epsom salt and an iron.  A paintbrush, my hands.  Soap and water, water, the wind, the air.  It was fun but nerve wracking because everyone’s looking and judging, sometimes commenting.  I wish I could make art lower pressure.

I was there a long time, making two scarves–one for me and one for them to sell at a fundraiser.  I had to choose which to keep.  I wore it as I walked home, and it matched my shirt. 

I got too hungry and asked for a snack.  M gave me a granola bar.  My therapist was there, and she side-hugged me.  I explained to her that I thought there were about 30 people interviewed for the video, but I found out there were really six.  I realized they would undoubtedly use some of the footage featuring me, and I was like oh shit.  When I thought there were about 30 people interviewed, I felt way safer.

What else?  I wanted to go to an All Bodies yoga class this morning, but I had some questions and no one called me back, so I didn’t go.  I worked on a new zine.  We walked to the co-op for quick oats and summer fruit.  I like making refrigerator oatmeal in the summer.

By Laura-Marie

Good at listening to the noise until it makes sense.

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